I wrote this long ago in 1994. I was asked by my fiancé before she passed why I loved her. I couldn’t find the words so decided to write them down. I found this after going through boxes of things that I’d saved for a while. This was my expression of an answer to her question. I'm sharing this because it's true and maybe it will help someone else who is asked that question.
I have searched my heart for ways of telling you how I feel, the words always seem to escape me, so I resort to what I know. I will write, I will close my eyes and try to let the words that take up residence on this piece of paper tell you the answer.
Why? This question is asked of us a lot these days. It’s something that everyone strives to find out and something that few of us can ever truly know. But why I love you. That has to be one of the easiest yet most difficult questions I have ever thought about.
I have searched my whole life for that one moment, the one second that my life comes together and I know what I am here for. That second, that moment came when we first saw each other. Eternity seemed to find its place and time in my heart at that one moment. Tranquility swept across me as though I was in the embrace of God. The feeling was miraculous, I knew at that one moment, that no matter what, I would never again regret life. I had in a simple second found what people have written about, killed, lied, died, begged and searched for.
I find myself entranced in thoughts of you always, no matter what I’m doing or where I am. You enter my heart through thoughts, through dreams and through prayers. From my first puppy love, to now I was always in control. I had to have things there to know that I was going to be okay. This obviously never worked. Now I find myself looking in your eyes and needing nothing more.
To say that when you touch me that it is a touch is a travesty of words. I have never been just touched by you. When you lay your hands on me I feel that we are melded into one. My breath is ours, the things I see, hear and taste are all shared.
I sit here trying to make sense of everything in my life finding you was something that I wasn’t counting on or thinking would ever happen, but I know that as long as I love you I can make anything worthwhile. Even now, I sit here and my emotions fly so quickly that I can’t describe them in a way that does justice. So I will close with I love you for everything you are, and everything you make me as well as what I have spoken before now. You are my dreams, my hopes and my peace. And no matter what was ever to happen you always would be. For that and so much more, I love you.