Chapter 1
She looked through the glass doors leading to the hallway. Her desk surrounded her as people walked around most of them looking towards her as they pass. She gave them each the brilliant and breathtaking smile that she had become known for.
She looked around at her desk wondering what to do next, she didn’t want to appear to not be working, this is a job that she needed to keep. She looked to her left and smiled a smile even more genuine and more loving as she gazed adoringly at the picture of her daughter.
She looked at the phone as it rang and politely transferred the call to the sales team in the back. Her mind wandered to her drive back to the office after lunch.
The traffic came and went as she made her way through it all. She thought of all she had left and all she had gained and all she had lost. The man she had given so much to had given her such pain but even with that she couldn’t hate because he had given her the most precious gift she had, her daughter Jade. As she sat at the stop light she realized her blinker wasn’t on. She reached down and pushed the arm up and saw the familiar blinking on her dashboard and then her horn started to honk. People around her looked at her like she’s crazy and she tried beating on the steering wheel to get it to stop, it didn’t. Without a care of what it was making her look like the horn heeded its own will and continued its annoying melody.
“Great.” She thought to herself, “A new town, no friends, I know only a few people and now my car’s possessed by a horn honking monkey.”
She pulled into the parking lot of the small office building and turned the ignition off thankful to not have to worry that Harry the Horn Monkey may wake up and start beeping again.
So now back at her desk she laughed at herself wondering where Harry the Horn Monkey came from. She tried to occupy her mind with papers so that she didn’t laugh and make anyone at her new job think she’s just lost it.
Hearing the door open she looked up and saw him walk in. She wasn’t sure what to make of him at first, he seemed to be a mixture of cocky and mischievous and genuine. He had a quirky if not just strange sense of humor and an affinity for the candy called Runts. Though he was always nice enough to share them. But for the most part he had always been nice to her and he’d started some conversations with her.
The conversations while usually short had always been about her. She did ask him once if he was a teacher since she did work for a training and consulting company it seemed a logical question. He just kept walking and answered “Yep I am, among other things.”
She wondered why when they talked it was about her and not the job or something to do with him. “I hope he’s not attracted to me.” She thought. “I don’t think I’m ready for that.” He’s cute but not really what I’m usually attracted to.
“Hey there.” He said.
Her mouth opened before she could even realize what she was saying. “Hey, do you know anything about cars?”
He looked at her as she asked the question and then came the smile, he held his breath for a second taken aback by it, hoping that she didn’t notice.
“Yeah, sure why what’s up?”
She told the story about her drive back from lunch and how Harry the Horn Monkey had invaded her 88 Olds Delta. Well she left out naming him Harry.
He laughed and they talked about a couple of things that it could be, a short or a fuse maybe. He said he was going to call a friend of his and talk to them and see what it could be as well. “I used to be a mechanic.” He let out casually as he walked away.
So he used to be a mechanic and now he’s a teacher and probably does consulting as well. Yesterday when he came in with a bandaged hand he made a comment about it being nothing, he’d been shot twice, stabbed once and had a broken back and neck. Either this guy had the worst luck in the world or there was a lot more to him then there seemed to be.
She thought about him for a moment longer than she wanted to. She thought about his eyes how she could only hold their gaze for a few moments at a time. How when she looked into them she was afraid of him seeing more of her than she wanted him to but also not wanting to look in them because in their deepest shadows she could see a hidden pain that most didn’t know about, didn’t see or didn’t want to see or know about.
She went back about her work. Phone calls came, people yelled at the copier that just didn’t seem to do what they wanted it to. She smiled just a little bit as she slipped one of his shared runts past her lips and onto her tongue. Then his voice came from around the corner.
She looked up as he stopped at the side of the receptionist area she called home for eight hours a day.
“When it honks is it normal like beeping or constant?”
“It’s random but constant when it happens.” She looked at him as he repeated what she had said into his phone. He actually said he would call somebody and he did. Someone that actually followed up on what they said they were going to do?
“Okay thanks man, I’ll call you in a few days so we can get together.” Then he hung up the phone and looked at her. “Do you have a security system in the car?”
She released a hypnotic laugh and that smile again. He tried not to stare, just look away he thought to himself. “No, not for that car.” Her laughter still coming out in her eyes.
He was still looking at her, he searched her face and couldn’t find a flaw. Her beauty was mesmerizing. Finally he remembered it was his turn to speak.
“Okay, well it’s probably a short or it might be the horn assembly. I can fix it for you.”
“Really? What will it cost?”
“The wire about three bucks but I have some so nothing.”
“No to do the work on the car.”
“Oh that, nothing don’t worry about it.”
“I don’t know I sure wouldn’t want to work on that car for free.”
“No worries, it’s not a big deal.”
He turned around quickly and made his way back into his classroom.
He started his student on a test and sat staring out the window thinking about when he’d first seen her. He was walking in the door and she was sitting in the second chair in the office. She looked up and smiled, it was like he walked into a wall, and everything just stopped if only for an instant. He mumbled something like hi. This would usually be the point where he would ask her if she had been helped assuming she was a customer of the company but the only thing he could think of was if she was going to take a class here please oh please let it be a class he teaches.
He didn’t know why he thought that, well he did but he knew he wouldn’t act on it. He’d felt that way once, the rush, the instance of time freezing, his heart falling. But that is another story one that he still held onto. One very few people knew.
That night he went home to his two bedroom apartment and had dinner with a girl that he had dated a few months before and thought about her, the way she looked up at him, the glimmer in her eye, the strand of hair that fell just above her right eyebrow and that smile.
He went in the next morning and she was there sitting behind the desk. She looked up and that smile again. “Oh shit.” The words actually escaped his mouth thankfully only loud enough for him to hear. He said something that he couldn’t remember and put on his best cavalier attitude as he walked by realizing that he looked like a complete fool.
It had been a long time since somebody had put him on guard. His confidence
had been what had attracted women to him his entire life, he wasn’t
terrible looking but there was a lot better out there, but he always knew
who he was and liked himself for the most part and it came through. Women
always seemed to like it. But here for the first time in his life he’s
not sure how to act. He’s actually attracted to somebody that he doesn’t
even know. This was going to be a long day.
Now the week had passed, he felt pretty good at the fact that he’d talked to her at all. The conversations were too small and the times that he walked through the front lobby to get a look at her too many. His hope of playing this cool and nonchalant was not really working to well.
Oh well what’s the worst that could happen? She figures out that he’s attracted to her and she blows him off? It couldn’t be any worse than losing the one person he’s loved.
He jumped into his 82 El Camino and made his way down the road towards her house. He pulled up outside and looked at the house wondering how today would play out. It was Saturday and he was here to fix her car but maybe if it went well he could talk her into going to dinner or something with him. Of course he would have to get up the nerve to ask her, that was an issue. California suited him much better for that, women there would walk up and start talking to guys that they were attracted to, the mid-west wasn’t famous for that kind of forwardness.
Okay stop thinking random thoughts and go ring the door bell Jake, he thought to himself. Getting out of his car he checked himself out, everything was clean but not too clean. He was here to work on a car so he didn’t want to look like he was trying to make an impression.
He looked up and saw her in a window. Angel, it was a fitting name for her. He saw her run her brush through her blonde hair, each one falling back into place after her initial stroke was finished. She looked out the window directly at him and waved.
He raised his hand and gave her a thumbs up, then quickly changed it to a wave. Good lord Jake, his voice reverberated in his head. What is wrong with you? It’s a car you are fixing for someone you work with, you don’t even know her last name, how old she is or how she likes her pizza so calm down man.
Finally he made his way up the steps to her door and as he raised his hand to the doorbell the door itself opened. She stood there barefoot, her hair still damp from the shower she had recently taken, a light dusting of makeup was on which seemed to only strengthen and accent her features. Without her shoes on she stood about 3 inches shorter than him. As he looked into her eyes he wondered how he could be looking down upon someone and still feel like he wasn’t even on the same ground as she was.
“Jake, thank you so much for coming to help, I can’t tell you how much it means.”
“Oh no worries, don’t even think about it.” He looked towards the ground when her eyes met his.
“So what do you need from me? And I don’t have much but I want to give you something for doing this.”
“Let’s get it fixed first and then we’ll talk about that, so where’s your car at?”
“It’s in the garage, you can come through the house if you want or I can open the garage door.”
“Umm the garage door is fine, I don’t want to walk through you house with these shoes on.”
They both looked down and he realized how idiotic he looked when he realized that there wasn’t even a spot of dirt on them.
A lighthearted laugh came out of her and she looked into his eyes. “You’re cute.”
With her comment said she turned away and walked behind a wall. He stood there not sure what to do until he heard the garage door opening up.
He made his way around to the garage and set his tool box down. She asked him if he wanted something to drink, he politely declined.
As he opened the driver’s side door he stuck his head under the dash board and heard the door to the house close.
He put on his head phones and started his MP3 player. A selection of really sappy love songs started to come through. He started humming to himself and then when Matchbox 20 started playing he began to sing softly. His hands were running a new wire as the lyrics escaped from him when he suddenly jerked his head up as someone touched his leg.
“Owwww.” He exclaimed as he moved from under the dashboard and started to reach for his head. He looked at Angel and saw her eyes widen and mouth start to open so he knew before he felt it that he was bleeding.
“Oh my God I’m so sorry.” She started to reach for him.
He held up his hands to stop her. “Don’t worry its nothing major, don’t get your clothes all dirty. Can you hand me that rag over there?”
She reached down and picked up the rag resting her hand on his knee for support. A shock went through his body, he wondered if she felt it as well. But then again, he thought, it could be the loss of blood.
Taking the rag from her he put it against his head and pressed firmly. She looked at him with worry.
“So Jake you have a girlfriend to take care of you after I try to kill you?”
He wasn’t sure how to answer the question, he was in a relationship but it had been dying a slow death for a few months now, and sad enough to say the feelings he already felt as he looked in her eyes eclipsed what he felt for Tracy his current girlfriend.
“Yeah I guess so, we’ve been going out but it’s just not working out and neither of us has had the nerve to end it yet. Just one of those we grew comfortable with the silence kind of things.”
“So you don’t love her?”
“I love her but I’m not in love with her if that makes any sense.”
“More than you know. Ever been in love?”
Her body stiffened as she felt the tension roll off of him. She didn’t know what she had said or if she was getting too personal. “Jake I’m sorry, if it’s none of my business just tell me.”
“No Angel, it’s okay. Yes I was in love once. She and I were engaged and had a six month old son. I was in the ARMY at the time and while I was away a drunk driver hit them and they both died.” His tone was flat and he got a very distant look in his eyes. She saw a little bit of the shadows in his depths come forward. In that instant she realized that she had read him wrong. This was a man that was too strong to break but to weak to live at the same time.
“I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have pried I just don’t really know anything about you. I’m really sorry.”
“It’s okay, don’t worry about it.” He looked up at her after pulling himself in from the flood of memories that wrapped around him. “Would you like to get something to eat later? I’ll clean up first of course.”
“Well Jake, I mean you still technically have a girlfriend, and I just got out of a relationship. I just don’t know if it’s the right thing to do.”
“I’m not asking for a date, just seeing if you wanted to get out, you probably haven’t gotten out a lot since you got here.”
She thought about it and looked back at him. “Just friends?”
“Just friends.”
“We should get your head looked at through, it’s bleeding pretty bad. We should probably get you to the hospital.”
He removed the rag and felt the gash in his scalp. “There’s not much they would do except shave some hair and tell me not to mess with it.”
“And how can you be so sure? You could have a concussion or something.”
He smiled at her and shook his head gently. “I don’t have a concussion. Don’t worry.”
“How do you know though?”
“I’ve had plenty of concussions. And plenty of injuries, this is nothing to worry about. As far as how I know, that’s another story for a different time. Now go take care of Jade, I’m going to finish up here, I’m almost done.”
She didn’t really see a way of persuading him otherwise. So she got up and made her way into the house looking back at him as she saw his head disappear beneath the dashboard again. “Stubborn shit.” She mumbled to herself.
From beneath the dash her words came to him and he smiled. “I heard that.”
He finished the car and took if for a test drive. After making his way around her neighborhood for about 20 minutes he determined that he had effectively evicted Harry from his home in the horn.
She was standing in the garage as he pulled back in.
“Everything looks good.”
“Jake thanks again so much, I can’t tell you how much this helped.”
“No biggie just a wire.”
“Well it was big to me. Someone else could have told me anything and I wouldn’t have known otherwise. So about dinner tonight.”
“You know I was thinking about that, and if you are busy I understand.”
She looked at him with tenderness, he was being gracious and giving her a way out. “No, no, I was just wondering if I could bring Jade or was this something that I should find a babysitter for.”
“Oh by all means bring her. I’ll go home and get cleaned up, it’s almost 4:00 now, you wanna head out around 5:30?”
“That would be great.”
Jake got into his car and headed home. He made a mental note to be sure to put the baby seat he kept at his apartment for his niece in the car.
Chapter 2
Angel opened the door as Jake started to pull into her driveway. He looked up and saw a woman looking out at him. He was assuming it was her sister since that was who she was staying with.
She walked down towards him, a light fluttering was taking place in her stomach. She tried to write it off as hunger but knew it was more than that.
He looked up at her, she wore a summer dress that fit snugly around her, the tan color and light floral patterns only made her appear more beautiful. They met in the middle of the sidewalk.
“Hi Jake.”
“Angel.” He said trying not to stare too long.
She looked him over, he was wearing a pair of tan slacks and a forest green button up shirt. She had to admit he looked good. He smelled good too, he didn’t have too much cologne on so she could smell the mixture of soap and Cool Water. It was a good combination.
“I’ve got a baby seat in the car for Jade. I used to take care of my niece a lot and still had it.”
She was taken aback by his thoughtfulness. Most men wouldn’t know to need a baby seat much less have one to use. “That’s sweet of you. But my sister is going to watch her if you don’t mind. Nothing to do with you, she just thought I could use some time without baby talk.”
“No I understand, that’s fine. I can’t guarantee that I won’t talk like a baby though.” He winked at her and turned to open the door for her.
She took her seat and let him close the door behind her. Looking around she was impressed by how clean it was.
Opening the door he slid in beside her and pulled his phone out. She looked at him curiously.
“I wasn’t really sure what kind of food you liked or were in the mood for so what would you like?”
“Hmm, I like just about anything. To be honest, I’m hungry so whatever we don’t have to wait too long for.”
“We won’t have to wait wherever we go. Do you like surf and turf? Though you gotta remember you’re in Colorado so the surf part is a play on words for decent but not great seafood.”
“Don’t have to wait eh? Yes I love steak and lobster, it’s been a long time since I could afford it. We don’t have to go anywhere that expensive.”
He looked at his phone and hit a couple of buttons and put it to his ear. “You don’t worry about the cost, you deserve a night out. Every mother does.” She just looked at him in wonder until he spoke again. “Manny, it’s Jake. Gonna be there in about 15, two of us near the fire if you can.” The conversation continued on the other side. “You don’t owe me anything. Thanks man I’ll see you in a few.”
Angel looked at him with a wry smile on her face as he backed out of her driveway.
“Should I even know how you can call a place on a Saturday night and tell them you’ll be there in 15 minutes and where you want a table?”
He laughed lightly, “It’s not a big deal. I’m sure it seems a lot more glamorous than it is trust me.”
She let the conversation drop as he plugged in his MP3 player and Norah Jones started to flow softly from the speakers beside her. She looked out at the mountains and for the first time appreciated how beautiful they were.
Jake looked at her as she was gazing. “It’s something isn’t it?”
“What’s that?” she asked still staring.
“When you see the mountains for the first time like you are now.”
“That’s what I was just thinking, how’d you do that?”
“It’s the same look everyone gets on their face when they see something truly beautiful and breathtaking.”
She broke her mountainous stare and looked at him. “Why Jake are you a romantic?”
He turned into the parking lot of an elegant restaurant and looked at her. “To a fault most of the time.”
They walked into the restaurant and she looked at the groups and couples all waiting for tables. Before they made it to the station to request a seat a man small in stature but huge in personality was holding his hand out towards Jake.
“Jake it’s great to see you. It’s been too long.” The man pulled Jake into a bear hug and shook him.
Jake hugged him back and pushed him away slightly embarrassed. He turned toward Angel. “Manny I’d like you to meet Angel.”
Manny took her hand and kissed it lightly, “A name that beautiful and still doesn’t do justice to its holder. Angel it’s a pleasure.”
Angel blushed openly, “Umm thank you Manny. It’s nice to meet you too.”
“Follow me you two, your table just got done being set up.”
Manny led them through an intimately lit room towards a beautiful fireplace with windows on either side looking out at the mountains. The table was obviously set up with care. Placed close enough to the fire to be comfortable but not so much to feel too much heat. A vase with a single yellow rose sat in between two candles on a small oak table.
Jake moved towards Angel and pulled her chair out for her. She looked up at him and smiled.
As Jake moved to sit down Manny was back with a brilliantly selected Chardonnay that he assured them would compliment any meal they decided on.
As he poured the wine he continued his conversation with Jake.
“I told Jasmine you were coming in, if you don’t say hi to her before you leave you know she’ll skin you alive and serve you as an entrée”
“I’ll be sure to stop in after we eat and see her. Shouldn’t she be home resting? Six months pregnant and you still have her slaving here?”
“Don’t look at me my friend, we spent the money and brought in that high priced chef and she still doesn’t trust anyone to make sure it’s done right but her. What can I do?”
Angel looked at the two of them talking casually and comfortably and decided to cut in.
“So how do you two know each other?”
Manny looked at Jake and then at Angel. “Oh he hasn’t told you how he can get into the best restaurants in the country and most of Mexico?”
She rested her hand on her chin and looked at Jake who was looking at the floor and then back at Manny.
“Best in the country and most of Mexico? This I have to hear, please do tell.”
Manny looked to Jake for approval. Jake lifted his eyes from the floor to
Manny. “I doubt she’ll take no for an answer so you may as well
tell her.” Jake’s eyes fell to his glass of wine that he twisted
nervously in his hands.
“Jake is a modest man and would never talk about the things that he’s done for us. As you can tell I am of Hispanic origin. I was in the Mexican Army when I met Jake. He was doing some training for us.
We became fast friends and about a year later I fell in love with Jasmine. She and her father started with one small restaurant in Guadalajara and then they found some investors and became some of the richest and most well known restaurateurs in North America.
Jasmine’s father loves Mexico and will never leave there. She and I came to the States to open a variety of restaurants when he was kidnapped. We flew back and Jake heard about the kidnapping the next day. About 11 hours later he was there with me.
He handled the negotiations with the rebels that had stolen her father. Then things went bad because we found out the Mexican Army was going to go in with a battalion after the rebels. The rebels found out and blamed us, then Jake went in by himself to the encampment and rescued my father in law. He took a bullet for his trouble and all he lets us do is supply him with a table if he needs it. Jasmine’s father will still not leave Mexico so Jake hired and trained his security staff. To this day I doubt anyone would ever try anything with him again.”
Angel’s mouth had dropped open about half an inch. Manny looked at her and smiled. “Well enough of my story telling. I will be back soon to see what you would like to eat.”
Angel sat there with her mouth still agape staring at the man across from her. He continued to twist the wine glass in his hands.
“It’s not quite as dramatic as Manny makes it sound.”
Sitting up in her chair and taking a drink of her wine she looked at him for what seemed like an eternity.
“You aren’t what you seem to be are you Jake?”
Jake looked up from the glass and took her in. She stared back into his eyes waiting for his response. She expected some sort of bravado, which is what most men would do when put on the spot.
“Well I guess that would depend on what you think I am.”
She didn’t expect that answer. Modesty in men was uncommon in her experience. Especially having been around her share of military men, they all seemed to be egotistical and conceited.
“I don’t know what I think you are.”
“What do you want to know?”
Again another response she didn’t expect. She wasn’t sure what to say, she looked around the restaurant and saw people smiling and laughing and some sitting uncomfortably on their first dates. She had just entered a place she wasn’t familiar with. She hadn’t been with that many men, but had learned that they were predictable, until now.
Jake saved her for the moment. “Angel, this is getting really heavy way too soon. Why don’t we figure out what we want to eat and then you can decide how you wanna grill me, fair enough?” He winked at her as he picked up his menu.
As promised Manny was back in a few minutes with a second bottle of unreqeusted wine and waiting for their order. Angel looked around at the other patrons of the restaurant again, she noticed now that some were looking towards their table. She knew they were wondering who this couple was and why the man that ran the restaurant was waiting on them. Pride and embarrassment both rushed over her.
With their orders out of the way Manny scurried back towards the kitchen to place their orders, probably in front of the other people whose food order was taken before theirs.
Jake settled into his chair comfortably and looked up at her. She looked back recognizing that he had been here before.
“You seem too comfortable waiting for questions.”
“People all have questions. Just some answers seem to lead to a lot more questions and I’m used to that.”
“You don’t seem like the kind of guy that he was talking about.”
“What kind of guy is that?”
“Well, you know, someone who would hurt people.”
He looked into her eyes again, he was still taken by her beauty but he saw a familiar uneasiness in her that many felt once they started to learn about him.
“Angel, would you agree that we’ve all done things we regret and things that we don’t?”
“Yes, I would.”
“That’s what my life boils down to, that’s what everyone’s life boils down to. It’s just if you can move past and accept forgiveness for the things you regret and understand the things that you don’t regret.”
“I never looked at it like that. Can I be direct with you?”
“Yes, but just know that I won’t lie to you and I will be as direct with you as you are with me.”
“That’s fair. Have you hurt people?”
“I have hurt people. Unfortunately in my past profession people got hurt so that others wouldn’t.”
She was visibly startled at his directness. He had told her he would be that way but even having warning she didn’t expect it. She also didn’t expect the mixture of hardness and sadness that came over him.
“I’ve known soldiers Jake they always talked about wanting to do those things but never did.”
“You knew military Angel, there’s a difference between a soldier and a person enlisted in the military.”
“What do you mean?”
“Military personnel join the military and talk big but most of them for one don’t have the jobs that would take them where I’ve been and very few have what it takes to be a soldier. A soldier does what is needed even when the need isn’t directly seen. We are the ones that do the unmentionable so that everyone can have the freedom to mention it. It is a soldier that sacrifices and suffers so that people can persecute or praise what we do and that there is a need for people like us. Without soldiers the freedom we all enjoy wouldn’t exist.”
“You seem to have thought a lot about that.”
“Spend enough time being told you’re a monster and you start to believe it, I decided to try to find a way to explain to people we aren’t monsters we are just people, just different than some.”
“Well you made me think of it differently. You are extremely intelligent aren’t you?”
“People seem to think so.”
“I thought we were going to be honestt.”
He laughed and she smiled. He was glad to see her smile. “Yes, I guess I am intelligent. If you go by tests and things like that I have always scored high. And there has never been anything that I wanted to learn that I haven’t been able to.”
“Like computers, you got to admit it’s a far cry from what you just told me you did.”
“Computers are just easy, Information Technology as a whole is easy. It makes sense. So I got into it after I got out of the Army.”
“So what were you a SEAL or something?”
“SEALs are Navy, I was Delta, Army. You don’t hear about us a whole lot.”
“That movie with the helicopters, my ex loved it, it had Delta Force in it right?”
“Black Hawk Down?”
“Yeah that one, sorry. I’m not big on war movies.”
“Me either, but yeah from what I heard about the movie it was fairly accurate and there were Delta Force teams there.”
“You’ve never seen it?”
“Was there, lived through it once, don’t need to see it on TV.”
She looked at him with tears starting to rise in her eyes. “My God you were there?”
“Yes.”
“I’m so sorry, I can’t even imagine.”
“Most people can’t. It’s okay.”
“Jake, are you always this open with people. When I look at you with others I don’t see them knowing you like this.”
“Most people know what I did. They know the basics. I was Delta, I had a rough childhood, things like that. They drop it at that so they can glorify it and make it seem like its more than it is. But most people don’t take the time to find out what actually encompasses me. They have an image in their head and that is what they see and want to see. I’ll tell anyone anything they want to know, most people just don’t want to find out.”
With that explanation their food came out. They sat and ate in silence each stealing looks at each other. Jake wondering if he was scaring her away before he even had a chance, Angel wondering how a girl could be with a guy like this and not take the time to learn and love. She could tell that there was a lot to him and she was enthralled.
With the dishes cleared they sat in silence watching the night sky fall upon the outside world.
She broke them out of their silence. “So you’re a romantic?”
He looked at her surprised. “Where did that come from?”
“In the car, you said you were a romantic to a fault most of the time.”
“Good memory. Yeah I’m a hopeless romantic.”
“Interesting.” She said teasingly.
“Really? Why is that interesting?” he asked amused.
“Big tough guy that’s a romantic at heart. Not a combination you find often.”
The playfulness in her voice made him smile.
“Well we all have our faults I guess. Mine is crying at romantic movies, or really anything that gets to me. I’m a blubbering idiot most of the time.”
At that she laughed. It reverberated across the table and embraced him. He held onto its transparent embrace as long as he could.
“I doubt you’re an idiot, but I would like to see the blubbering part. Seeing a man that is actually strong enough to cry is sexy.”
“Well if that’s what you want we can go put on Legends of the Fall, Jersey Girl, The Notebook or you can watch me read a few books I have and you’ll have all the sexy you ever wanted.”
“You cry at books too?”
“All the time actually. There’s something about reading the words that someone writes and having it describe what you are feeling just enough to let you realize what you’re feeling but also leaving it open enough for you to be able to feel. I don’t know if that makes any sense at all.”
“It makes perfect sense, I feel the same way. You are very eloquent did you know that?”
“I’m just me.”
“Well I think ‘me’ is pretty great so far. So what are
the last books and movies that made you cry?”
“Boy you are loving this aren’t you?”
“You know it. So spit it out.”
“Let’s see, movies Finding Neverland and I finally got around to watching Beyond Borders, they both made me cry. Books, Odd Thomas made me cry like no book before, also Suzanne’s diary for Nicholas.”
“Oh my God Odd Thomas killed me. I couldn’t believe how moved I was. I can’t wait to be loved like that.”
“It’s a great thing, you’ll find it.”
“So why did you get into teaching?”
“It’s just a short term gig. I’m only going to be there for another month or two.”
“What after that?”
“I’m not sure, what ever comes around. I do a lot of contract work. It keeps me moving and learning. The company is great so don’t worry about that I’ve just done what I needed to there. And if they need me they’ll call.”
“So you don’t want stability?”
“I’m stable, and as long as it’s just me that I’m taking care of I can afford to take a chance every now and then.”
“For some reason you don’t seem like someone I should worry about with that kind of stuff. You’ll always make it. You just have that way about you.”
“Well I guess so, I’ve made it this far.”
The night had fallen outside as their conversations continued. Jake learned that Angel was 27 and from Kansas. She and her ex boyfriend had met while she lived there and she followed him to Colorado with the hopes of making the relationship work since they had just had a child together.
It finally became too much for her so she broke the relationship off and was getting ready to move into a small apartment on the north side of town not far from where Jake lived.
He offered to help move her in and she thanked him. She asked about Tracy, Jake’s current girlfriend and he explained again that it just wasn’t there between them. He loved her for who she was. She was in all reality a great person and a pretty good friend. But the relationship wasn’t going anywhere and hadn’t been for a long time. They had been together for 7 months and in the last 4 they had gone through the motions of a happy couple but neither were truly happy. He conceded that Tracy deserved to be happy and he was going to end it soon.
The restaurant started to empty out as Manny made his way back to the table with a radiant woman who stood two inches taller than he. They both took chairs and took a seat at the table.
Jake moved in to the woman and hugged her and kissed her on the cheek. “Jasmine I’d like you to meet-“ he started to say cut off.
“Angel, I’m Jasmine. Manny has been gushing over you all night. I’m glad to see it wasn’t for nothing. Any friend of Jake’s is a friend of mine. Or are you two more than friends?”
“Jasmine.” Manny scolded.
“What? He’s my friend too, I’m allowed to ask these things. Besides I want to know anyone involved with the man that’s going to be Godfather to our child.”
Jake looked at Jasmine in surprise. “Excuse me?”
Jasmine looked at Angel incredulously “Like he didn’t know we were going to ask him. Jake who else would I trust with my family but you?”
“I’m honored Jasmine thank you.” Jake said sheepishly.
“So friends or more? Back to the important part of the conversation.”
Angel looked at Jake wondering how to respond. Jake took the lead on the answer “We are just friends Jasmine. She just moved to town a few weeks ago so I thought it would be nice to get her out.”
Looking at Angel Jasmine said “If you’re smart you’ll take him off the market. There’s not many out there like him.”
Angel answered quickly “Well technically he’s off the market, he does have a girlfriend.”
Jasmine smiled “You’re feisty I like that. But that thing with Tracy’s been over for months neither of them have the cojones to end it though. They both know it’s true.”
Jasmine looked at Jake for confirmation of her statement.
“I’ve already told her all about Tracy thank you. And Angel just got out of a relationship as well so we are both fine as friends.”
Angel looked up at Jake with his closing words. They seemed to have such finality to them and she found herself not wanting that finality. She was scared that she was falling for someone she hardly knew but she couldn’t help it.
Jasmine stood up and rubbed her swollen belly. “Well you two enjoy the evening. And because I do say whatever I feel I’ll just say that you two don’t look at each other like you are just friends or want to be just friends. But you look good and feel good together. Angel it was nice meeting you, I’m sure I’ll see you again.”
With that Jasmine turned and walked briskly back towards the kitchen. Manny just looked at Jake shaking his head. “I’m sorry you two. Jake you know Jas, she has a mind of her own. Nobody could stop her if they tried.”
“And we love her for it. She was fine Manny don’t worry at all.”
Manny excused himself and left them. They both rose and made their way to the car. Back in the El Camino Norah Jones once again serenaded them.
“If you want to change the music we can.” He told her.
“No I love Norah, just don’t find many men that admit they like her much less play her music if they aren’t alone in a room looking for something.”
A smile rose on Jake’s face and he continued driving in silence. They made the rest of their way to her house without a word. The silence between them was comfortable. Each lost it their own worlds but also the same world. Each wondering about each other.
When he finally put the car in park in her driveway he got out and walked around and opened her door for her. She got out and gently brushed against him on purpose. She reached into her purse and pulled out her keys and stood in front of him playing with her keys.
He looked at her and looked down at her keys and a small laugh came out of him.
She looked up into his eyes wondering what he suddenly found funny. He looked
at her and smiled.
“Did you see the Will Smith movie Hitch?”
“Yeah I did, why?” without an answer she looked down at her keys and realized that she was reliving a scene from the movie and revealing one of women’s tells as Hitch told it. If a woman messes with her keys she is wanting something probably a kiss.
Angel laughed out loud. “My God I can’t believe I’m doing that. I’m sorry if it makes you uncomfortable. It’s just that for this not being a date it was the best date I’ve ever been on.”
“I had a great night too. And to be honest I do want to kiss you but I am still technically with Tracy and I can’t allow myself to do that. I am going to end things with her in the morning.”
“I can’t tell you how much I respect that and at the same time how much I hate that you have that sense of honor in you. But I understand.”
They stood under the stars staring at each other for another few minutes. Neither said a word they let the sounds of the night speak for them.
Jake moved close to Angel and gave her a light hug. “Thank you for a wonderful evening. You should get inside.”
Angel just looked up at him and realized again how much she wanted him to throw his morals out the window and take her in his arms. As if reading her mind he turned and made his way around the car. He opened the door and looked up at he one last time for the night.
“Jake, call me tomorrow?”
“I will make a point of it. Sweet dreams Angel.”
Angel made her way into her house, she went up the stairs and into her room. She looked down at Jade sleeping and bent down and kissed her.
She changed her clothes and laid in bed thinking about Jake. Thinking about things that she had no right to be thinking about.
Jake walked the three flights of stairs up to his apartment and went to the refrigerator and opened a beer. He then hit the remote for his stereo and an assortment of songs came on.
All of the songs that flowed through the speakers seemed to be fitting for his feelings at the moment. He thought about Angel, about the way she smiled, smelled, and felt. He thought about what it would be like to hold her all night. He could see himself with her. It scared him but he was okay with that. Most things worth risking pain for were scary. She definitely was.