I've been hearing a lot lately about suffering and indifference in the personal lives of some that I know, I've been hearing about confusion and the sense that things aren't making sense to a lot of people especially in the roles of where their lives are at and where they had wanted them to be.
It's weighed on my thoughts a great deal and there is always the voicing
of those of us that are not with someone and have a sense of being alone
in life because we go to bed alone and wake up in the same state.
I'm guilty of having these same thoughts at different times in my life and
while those thoughts don't absorb me like they used to it makes me ponder
the possibilities that are available to shed this despondence that seem
to embrace so many in our world.
I talked about this tonight to someone who is becoming a friend. We were
listening to the CD by LiJie, the wonderful artist who will hopefully be
playing my book release party. So before I go on any further I am going
to put the lyrics to one of her songs on here now. I will explain why afterwards.
Roam:
We always sit and talk about the weather
and after all these letters well there's nothing left to say
you and I were both two of a kind
we're always wondering why something more hasn't come our way
but I refuse to believe
oh no, this is the only life for me
So I roam
these open roads
the nights are bitter
oh and the days are cold
so I roam
these open roads
in search of better
oh in search of home
you seem surprised
i see it in your eyes
but I can't lie
this is never what I had in mind
but walking this line and pretending everything's fine
well this isn't living it's just getting by
and i may be naïve
but not too proud to leave
So I roam
these open roads
the nights are bitter
oh and the days are cold
so I roam
these open roads
in search of better
oh in search of home
So I roam
and I roam, in search of home
To me the main message of this song, and remember that this is my interpretation, is that we each in life have things that we have wanted or want that have yet to come to fruition and that with that we seem to find complacency in just living in the current life and situations that we are in.
We have our times where we may talk about it but just talking about these
things won't solve what it is that we have going on in our hearts and minds.
But we shouldn't settle in life. Never.
I also know that not all of us are capable of making the events in our lives
the way that we want them to be by ourselves. It is my personal belief that
none of us ever does anything alone. I don't think that there is anything
or anyone in the world, other than God that can say that they accomplished
all that they ever wanted to by themselves.
An example is that the majority of people that know myself and another friend
of mine JayMo think of us as people of extraordinary strength, integrity,
drive and perseverance.
With both of us having a background in the teams (to all you normal people
that read this that is Spec Ops) we learned that we counted on our team
as much as we did on ourselves.
Both of us had challenging lives before, during and after the military.
We both had physical accidents that should have killed us if not at the
least left us severely handicapped. But if you didn't know what happened
you wouldn't be able to tell now what our accidents were.
My point in stating all of this is that while I will admit that we do have
some uncommon traits we didn't get these experiences alone and we didn't
get through the things that we did alone.
I can say that I know there were times when I thought I was the only person
dealing with it and the only one that could get me through it but I know
now that it wasn't that way.
We had our support systems. God, family, friends, enemies, memories even
if it was just a song or a book. There was always something.
As everyone in this world of ours feels alone, depressed, hopeless, lost
and a myriad of other things there are things that you can do. Which brings
me back to the song.
She sings about a conversation with a friend and making the choice to make
that difference, to hit the road and start to roam until she found home.
Home for me, and for others I know isn't just a dwelling that we have a
bed in and that we go back to. For me home is a feeling, a belief that is
ingrained in me. When I was a parent home was in my son's smile or laugh,
when I was engaged to his mother it was in her embrace. Now home is in the
belief and pursuit of showing the masses that life is so much more than
what we seem to see it as every day.
As the song says "walking this line and pretending everything's fine
well this isn't living it's just getting by."
I think that almost everyone out there can relate to the feeling that getting
by isn't living. And isn't the point of every breath that we take to be
maximizing the life that we SHOULD be living.
There are people out there in the world who are making changes and trying to help others make those changes. I know that there is a change coming.
This change isn't simply because people are deciding to make this change
and to provide the vehicle for the change but the world as a whole is screaming
for everyone to find their "home" again.
The drive and desire for all of this while seldom verbalized is practically
tactile.
An example of this was sitting at a Starbucks in Denver with some friends
a week or so back and while we were talking there were masses of people
there of all ages filling out applications to work there. But underneath
all of it you could feel the people there screaming for a change. For something
to come and give them a release, a way to get the hope in life back. Again
a way to find their way "home."
So to all of you that read this just know that you are allowed to feel these
things but don't ever be afraid to start roaming. Get that spark in your
life back that used to ignite what it was that you woke up for everyday
and what made it hard for you to sleep at night (in a good way).
Changes are coming everyone, the time is now, the place is here and whether
we want it to or not change is happening and we will be making the world
a better place.
Never lose hope.